Life and Death
by TheSleepyProducer
Summary: After the normal death threats come in, Barba doesn't think much about them...until his husband is taken hostage. Will Sonny make it out alive?
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

It was a quiet day around the office until Benson broke the silence.  
"We got a hostage situation people! Let's go! NOW!" Olivia Benson yelled.

The SVU team normally wouldn't work a hostage situation except for it was one of their own being held hostage. They arrived at the Carisi-Barba apartment along with backup. Olivia knew it was serious since she got Carisi's text. They knew two lives were at stake, but she didn't let Fin and Amanda in on just how serious things were at the moment.

"Has anyone called Barba?" Amanda asked.

"No I guess I better." Olivia said getting her phone out of her pocket.

Barba had been getting death threats again. He tried to play them off as just a common ordinary occurrence, but he should have taken it more seriously. She should have taken it more serious. She should have known not to send Sonny home without protection. Now the bastard was inside their home and holding Sonny at gunpoint.

"Barba." Rafael answered the phone.

"Rafael, it's Benson. We got a problem." Olivia said trying to steady her own breathing.

The pause causing Barba's stomach to drop.

"Sonny is being held hostage inside you guys' apartment."

"Well get him the hell out of there you know…" Rafael let the words die on his lips.

"I know Rafael. We will try to get him out as quickly and safely as possible." Olivia tried to comfort him.

Before Olivia could finish the call, two gun shots rang out catching the attention of the team.

"Benson? Olivia! Tell me that wasn't gunshots I just heard?" Rafael panicked, tears welling up in his eyes.

His voice barely registered to her.

"We are moving in. I will stay on the phone with you Barba." Olivia said leading the way into the house.

Fin was the one to cuff the suspect. Olivia's eyes caught sight of a body by the couch, covered in blood.

"I got an officer down! We need a bus now! Stay with me Carisi." Olivia said as she bent down next to Sonny.

Amanda tried her hardest to put pressure on the chest wound, while Olivia tried to put pressure on Sonny's abdomen, which was also bleeding.

Olivia almost forgot she was on the phone with Barba until she heard him sobbing.

"How is he Olivia?" Barba asked through the tears.

Olivia drew in a deep breath. "He's been shot in the chest and abdomen."

"And…the baby? Is she hurt?" Rafael asked.

Amanda gave a grimace look to Olivia. Her eyes widened as she placed her fingers to Carisi's neck and could feel his heart slowing.

Olivia was about to have her hands full with Barba.


	2. Chapter 2: When Everything Changed

Sorry if this is a bit confusing. It's flashbacks working it's way up to what happened in the first chapter. I promise it will circle back around. It's kind of Sonny remembering what happened up until that point. As the saying goes sometimes your life flashes before your eyes.

Warning this chapter does get a little steamy.

7 months before

It had been a long day for Sonny and all he could think about was going home to his husband. He was still so surprised that the team took the news of him dating Rafael well. Even more surprised when they threw the guys a bridal shower after Rafael proposed. The wedding had been different than most. Instead of having groomsmen and bridesmaids, the guys had best gals as Sonny put it. Amanda stood with Sonny while Olivia stood with Rafael. The only person that wasn't warm to the idea of Sonny marrying a man was his father Dominick Carisi Sr. He didn't understand the whole two guys being together thing. But he saw how happy Rafael made Sonny and if his son was happy, so was he. Sonny knew Rafael wouldn't be home for at least another hour, so he decided to start some dinner. As he broke the spaghetti and stirred his marinara sauce, his thoughts would wander to different places including how badly he wished his husband was home. Rafael quietly unlocked the door and made his way inside, finding Sonny in the kitchen daydreaming. He snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist, causing Sonny to jump!  
"Rafi your home early!" Sonny said with a twinkle in his eye.  
"I had a bit of a problem and nothing in the office could help me." Rafael smirked.  
"You forgot your migraine medicine at home?" Sonny cocked his head.  
Rafael looked down to his pants and back up at Sonny. Then Sonny knew exactly what kind of problem Rafael had.  
"I couldn't keep my mind off my hot and sexy husband all day. I ended up letting Carmen go home early just so I could rush home to you." Rafael said before their lips crashed together.  
Rafael led Sonny from the kitchen into the bedroom, clothes flying across the room. Rafael pushed Sonny's naked body onto the bed. It didn't take much since Sonny was already weak kneed from seeing his husband in all his glory. Rafael climbed on top of the younger man and went to work. First kissing down Sonny jawline before placing tender kisses onto his chest and abdomen.  
"Are you ready Sonny? Are you ready for me to make you mine?" Rafael asked wanting and needing to be inside Sonny.  
"Come at me big papa! Make me your bitch." Sonny panted.  
Rafael didn't want to just have all the pleasure. As he fulfilled his own need, he also pumped Sonny's member.  
"Rafael…I'm so close!" Sonny cried.  
"Good! Then we can go over together." Rafael grinned.  
A few more powerful thrusts and Rafael was sending his seed deep into Sonny. Sonny wasn't far behind making a mess all over himself and Rafael. Not wanting to waste one single drop, Rafael licked some of the seed off Sonny's chest sending a shiver down his spine.  
"Let's get you all cleaned up." Rafael said as he went to turn on the shower.  
Sonny laid in the bed for a moment not moving. His thoughts running away with itself. Everything felt so different, better but different than it ever had before.  
He stepped into the oversized shower with Rafael. As he allowed Rafael to take in the sight while allowing Rafael to wash him all over. After they slipped into comfortable clothes, they headed to the kitchen to have what was now cold spaghetti. Sonny fixed his and Rafael's plates before sitting down. He seemed like he was a million miles away.  
"Is something wrong?" Rafael questioned.  
"Have you ever thought about having kids?" Sonny asked, a spark in his eye.  
"I mean maybe, not really. I don't think kids really like me. Benson's son is shy around me and Rollins daughter cries anytime I try to hold her." Rafael said trying to avoid looking into those blue eyes that sparkled.  
"But what about having a baby of our own. You know what if I got pregnant?" Sonny asked.  
"Sonny don't be silly. Men can't get pregnant." Rafael laughed.  
"I mean they could with all the technology and stuff now men can actually get pregnant and carry a baby to full term. I mean come on you've seen the movie Junior. Times have changed." Rafael just glared at Sonny before his husband went on. "I am not asking you to give up your girlish figure Raf. I would gladly carry a baby for us. If something happens and I couldn't get pregnant I am sure Amanda would carry one for us."  
Rafael about spit out his water "You would really want Rollins to be the mother to our baby?"  
"I mean if all else fails. But honestly I would rather it be me." Sonny smiled.  
He hoped the weird way he was feeling was an indication that something in the stars might align just right for him.


	3. Chapter 3: A Little Surprise

6 weeks later

Sonny walked into work with the worst of stomach aches. It seemed he couldn't keep anything down. He needed to make an appointment with his doctor, he must have a stomach bug. He sat down at his desk, folded his arms and laid his head down.

"Late night drinking with Barba again?" Amanda smirked.

"Very funny. I don't know what's going on. I keep throwing up and some smells make it worse. Kind of like Amaro's food over there is about to make me want to lose it again." Sonny said looking up at her, his face pale.

Amanda thought for a moment. It sounded just like when she first found out she was pregnant with Jessie. She reached into her desk and pulled out a pregnancy test. She handed it to Sonny.

"What you think I'm pregnant?" Sonny chuckled.

"Just humor me and go take the test." Amanda smiled.

"Why do you even have this in your desk drawer?" Sonny questioned.

"For reasons, now go!" Amanda pushed him toward the bathroom.

Liv walked out of her office with some paperwork.

"Have you seen Carisi? I need him to sign off on some paperwork before Barba gets here." Liv said looking around.

"You just missed him. He just went to the bathroom." Amanda replied.

"He didn't look like he felt good when I saw him." Nick chimed in.

"I swear Carisi gets sick more times than Noah does." Liv shook her head.

Sonny stood in the bathroom, the weight of what the stick was showing weighing on his shoulders. The little digital window read 'pregnant.' How was he going to break it to the lieu or to Rafael for that matter? Sure Rafael had "said" he wanted kids but what would he do now finding out that Sonny was pregnant. Sonny shoved the test into his pocket and rinsed his mouth before returning to the squad room.

"There you are man! Liv's been looking for ya." Fin said.

Sonny took the test out of his pocket and slipped it to Amanda.

"You wanted to see me Lieu?" Sonny asked walking into her office.

"Yeah I just needed you to sign…" Liv was cut off by Amanda's screams. Sonny and Liv rushing from her office to see what was going on.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!" Amanda yelled.

"What your pregnant by Amaro again?" Rafael asked as he walked into the squad room.

"Amanda is that true? Are you pregnant?" Nick asked as he took Amanda into his arms, placing a loving hand on her stomach.

"No. I am." Sonny said shyly.

"You what?!" Rafael snapped.

"Surprise! It's not the way I wanted to tell you but…we are having a baby!" Sonny smiled.

Rafael's face softened.

"I'm…I'm going to be a father?!" he asked not sure of his own voice.

"Trust me, it's not Nick's." Sonny chuckled.

"Hey!" Nick remarked.

Rafael put a hand on Sonny's stomach.

"We are having a baby!" Rafael finally warmed up to the idea.

"We sure are!" Sonny smiled before leaning down to kiss Rafael. He didn't care if he was in front of his whole team. A moment like this didn't happen every day for him.

"Carisi you know we will have to talk about desk duty, just like we did with Rollins." Liv said.

"Of course!" Sonny smiled. He pulled Rafael closer to him.

"Actually Liv, can we go ahead and start him on desk duty? I want him and the baby safe and not out in the field." Rafael suggested.

"Rafi, that's nine months on desk duty. I would go crazy if I did that." Sonny protested.

"I would go crazy if I lost you or the baby." Rafael stared into Sonny's eyes.

"Fine whenever Lieu wants me to go on desk duty I will. So when will it be Lieu? 34, 36 weeks?" Sonny questioned.

"We will see and we will also have your doctor in the loop especially with this kind of job. I don't want your stress levels and blood pressure out of wack." Liv said.

"Understood Lieu." Sonny smiled.

"Congratulations you two." Liv said giving both Sonny and Rafael a hug.

"Oh gosh, I feel like I could be sick again." Sonny said before reaching for his trash can.

Rafael sat beside him and rubbed his husbands back.

"Morning sickness is a bitch." Amanda said.

She reached into her desk and pulled out some crackers, peppermint oil and had Nick grab a ginger ale from the squad's fridge.

"Do you just keep that kind of stuff on hand?" Rafael asked.

"Of course! You never know when one of us is going to get sick or have morning sickness." Amanda smiled.

Rafael rolled his eyes. 'Only you Rollins, only you.'


	4. Chapter 4: A Gift

As time went on, Sonny was no longer the skinny bean pole he once was. It was as if his belly grew overnight. One day he could still wear his dress shirts and the next morning he couldn't button them around his middle. Rafael had fixed coffee for Sonny and found him sitting in their closet crying.

"Sunshine what's wrong?" Rafael said getting down in the floor with Sonny.

"I can't go to work today." Sonny cried.

"Is the baby making you sick?" Rafael asked rubbing Sonny's back.

"No, it's just I can't fit in any of my clothes." Sonny said rubbing his stomach.

"I knew this day would come." Rafael said.

He knelt down beside the bed and pulled out a box wrapped in blue wrapping paper and a bow.

"I had been saving this, but I think it is time you have this." Rafael said handing Sonny the package.

"What is this?" Sonny asked.

"Just open it and you will find out." Rafael smiled.

Sonny unwrapped the package to find several bigger shirts that he could wear to work.

"Rafi…they're beautiful!" Sonny cried.

"I figured you could use some Armani shirts to go under this new Armani suit I bought you. Both are bigger to accommodate the baby." Rafael smiled.

"You are too good to me." Sonny smiled before kissing his husband.

"Only the best for my two loves." Rafael leaned down and placed a tender kiss on Sonny's swollen stomach.

Sonny walked into the squad room with his new suit on. He felt so much better and more confident now that he had a suit that flaunted his baby bump. It didn't take long for the team to notice.

"Damn Carisi, you look like you have grown over the weekend." Fin mentioned.

"Leave on Friday with no baby bump and come back and BAM the baby looks like it could bust right out." Sonny joked.

"When do you and Barba find out what you're having?" Amanda asked.

"We go this afternoon." Sonny smiled.

"Well I want a full report! You know we are dying to know the gender of this baby." Liv said standing in the doorway of her office.

As the work day went on Sonny felt something very strange. His hands flew to his stomach.

"Carisi, you ok?" Nick asked.

"Someone call Barba, I think I'm in labor." Sonny panicked.

"Are you sure? Seems a little early for that." Amanda said going over to his desk. "Here move your hands, let me see."

Amanda placed her hands where Sonny's were. As expected, she couldn't feel any movement or tightening of the muscles of Sonny's abdomen.

"Sonny this isn't a contraction, nothing's tightening over your bump…your baby is kicking." Amanda smiled.

"Kicking? So that's what it is supposed to feel like?" Sonny asked placing his hands over Amanda's.

"It sure is, it feels like flutters or gas at first. As the baby gets bigger, so do the kicks and Barba will be able to feel them too in a few weeks. Jesse was big on kicking the crap out of me." Amanda smirked.

"Detective would you like to take the place of raising mine and my husband's baby?" Rafael said as he slipped up on Amanda and Sonny.

"Hi honey! Amanda was informing me that I'm not in labor. Our baby is kicking!" Sonny smiled.

"Is that so?" Rafael knelt beside Sonny and placed his hands on his swollen stomach.

Rafael was disappointed to not be able to feel the baby kicking but Amanda reassured him that would change in a few weeks as the baby got bigger and stronger.

"Our baby is taking after you already. You kick in bed nearly every night." Rafael smirked.

"Whoa Barba TMI." Fin threw his hands up.

Sonny and Rafael shared a look and laughed.

"Are you about ready for your doctor's appointment?" Rafael asked as he helped Sonny to his feet.

"I guess as ready as I'll ever be. I'm just ready to find out what we are having." Sonny rubbed his stomach lovingly. .


	5. It's a

"Mr. Barba-Carisi, are you ready?" the nurse asked from the doorway.

"Let's go find out what we are having." Rafi smiled as he helped Sonny up.

Sonny rubbed his bump as he could feel the baby happily kicking. The nurse helped Sonny up onto the table and took his blood pressure.

"The doctor will be with you both in a few minutes." The nurse smiled before leaving the room.

"Are you nervous?" Rafi asked, sensing his husband's anxiety.

"Terrified. What if this baby doesn't like me?" Sonny asked on the verge of tears.

"This baby is going to love you!" Rafael said as he took Sonny's hand.

A knock on the door broke their sweet moment.

"Sonny how are you feeling?" the doctor asked as she put on her gloves.

"Better. The morning sickness has started to die down." Sonny said.

"Good! I am going to take some measurements of your stomach and then we will take a look in at your baby. Are you guys wanting to know the gender?" The doctor asked as she put the gel onto Sonny's stomach and prepared the ultrasound machine.

With tears in their eyes both guys answered "yes."

Sonny felt the tears welling up even more as he heard his baby's heartbeat. But he lost it when the doctor said the words he had been waiting to hear.

"It's a girl!"

Sonny looked over at Rafael. He had not seen his husband smile so big in his life. He knew Rafael was going to make a wonderful father.

"We do need to talk some options Sonny. I know you are still several months out from your due date, but we need to schedule you for a c-section. Another thing is with the line of work you are in…I want you to go ahead and begin desk duty." The doctor explained.

"Desk duty? Already?" Sonny asked.

"Yes. Your blood pressure is way too high. I would rather have you and your baby girl safe. I want your blood pressure and stress levels low until your due date." The doctor said.

"I will make sure he takes it easy and that he will ad-here to desk duty…even though he will hate it." Rafael smiled only to have Sonny roll his eyes at him.

"Ok as long as she is born safe. I will do anything to protect her." Sonny smiled


End file.
